How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Overview

Rating: 10/10
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High-Level Thoughts

This classic

Key Takeaways

1. The best thing you can do to further your career is to become better at dealing with people.

Summary Notes

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

“Two Gun” Crowley, a notorious cop-killer, didn’t blame himself for anything. Other criminals, such as Al Capone and Dutch Schultz, didn’t blame themselves either; they felt they were public benefactors. The point is: no one blames themselves for anything.

Criticism is a bad way to lead because it doesn’t accomplish anything other than wound a person’s pride, hurt his sense of importance, and arouse resentment.

As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation. —Hans Selye

When Abraham Lincoln was a young man, he was known to criticize publicly. That ended when he thrashed a politician, James Shields, anonymously in a newspaper. Shields hunted Lincoln down and challenged him to a duel. To save face, Lincoln agreed, but at the last minute their wives talked them down.

After that incident, Lincoln almost never criticized anybody for anything. One of his favorite quotations was: “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

When Mrs. Lincoln and others spoke harshly of southern people, Lincoln said: “Don’t criticize them: they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”

Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.

2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

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